Sunday, March 15, 2015

Lazy Girl's Guide to Housekeeping

Are you overwhelmed and short on time? Poorly trained in the art and science of housekeeping? Just plain lazy? Here are a few tips to keep your house looking livable while cutting every possible corner.

1. If you spill something in the kitchen, act fast. Simply rub your sock over the area then quickly discard in the dirty laundry hamper. You may choose to discard the other sock at this time or save it on your foot in case of another spill.

2. Oh no! There's a chip in your dark wood wainscoting leaving an unsightly spec of unstained wood. You're a teacher; you know you have fifty colors of Sharpie. Choose the dark brown marker and color in the offending spot. Smudge with finger to blend.

3. Purchase something very heavy for your home, like a piano. When you find random tiny items like a paperclip or a plastic thingy, brush them swiftly behind the heavy piece of furniture. Let's face it: it took four guys to move that thing into place. It's not going anywhere. It will be our little secret.

4. For small spots, saliva is a safe cleaning agent for all surfaces, including porcelain, glass, wood, and laminate.

5. Dog saliva is also safe. Encourage your dog to lick up any dropped crumbs to avoid vacuuming regularly. This will also save time on cleaning the vacuum filter, as it will be used less frequently.

6. Oh dear, you must have missed that window sill last time you dusted. Pull your sleeve and fold it back to use the inside of the sleeve to easily dust the sill. Return your sleeve to normal and no one will ever know. Alternatively, if you are still wearing one sock from earlier in the day, this would also be a wise use for it.

I always say that no matter how little time you have or how terrible you are at keeping a clean house, there's no need for any guest to know. Happy homemaking!


  1. How fun! What a great 'Susie Homemaker' list. You should include it in all college graduate or new mother gifts. :)

  2. It's also good to use candlelight as the lighting source for evening visitors. Everything looks better by candlelight and it will also help with smells so I use the scented candles. Fun and creative post. D :)

  3. Now these are some housekeeping tips I can get behind. Ha!

  4. I love this! It makes me instantly feel better about sitting and writing more than cleaning and keeping house these days. I love how the last how-to brings me full circle to the first and how you maintain this "formal" style even while the content is playful. Nicely done! My favorite post this weekend!

  5. Love the voice and the image of one socked foot and one bare foot skating around tidying up. Bet it was fun to write this one.

  6. LOL! I just leave it til the dad comes home...but today the cat vomit was too much...Lots of papertowels were the key.

    1. Wow! I cleaned up cat vomit today too! 🐱

  7. Loved #2. That reminds me, I have a wood chip to fill.

  8. This is absolutely hilarious. When I read the post title I thought "I can connect with this gal!" I have done all of those things...including the permanent maker on great! Love that after all those confessions you ending it with a very proper "Happy Homemaking"

  9. This is so funny! I love the very useful cleaning suggestions and can give my stamp of approval to say that they all work wonders. Now you have me thinking about what my sage advice would be...