Bossypants or Future Leader?

I'm trying really hard not to let this become a "mommy blog" but when I spend three days straight with the baby, it's challenging. All of the slices of life for those days involve Beatrice, even after she goes to bed. Today was a big hairy deal though. Beatrice met a baby her own age. She had her first play date with a colleague's son, who was born one week after Beatrice, so they're both finally ready to interact with other little humans. Basically, they can both sit up to look at each other. And look, they did. They were both intensely interested in the other and stared from arm's length. When the tension couldn't build any higher, we put some toys out for them. They're both fairly smiley babies, so they got along fine. We helped them play peekaboo, and they traded blocks on the rug. They cooperated (or battled, I couldn't tell which) on a complex pop-up sort of toy - one would hit the button to pop the frog out and the other would close frog back in. The most interesting thing to me was to see the differences in their personalities and their approaches to the toys. Because Beatrice is the only baby I've spent any time with, I couldn't compare her behavior to other babies'. But today, I found out she might be bossy (or a leader, depending on the context!). The boy was so soft spoken; his babbles were gentle and inquisitive. Beatrice is in a yelling phase. At least, I hope it's a phase. She screamed "AH HAAA!" at the top of her lungs and demanded action from us. Luckily, it didn't put her playmate off. But when will that sort of thing put people off? I've been accused of being abrasive in the past. Was I like that as a baby? Where's the line between strong leader and bossy bitch? And how do you raise your girl to be the former?